


Pearl's Choice

by AlexiHollis



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, OT3 FEELS, Pearl Is White Diamond's Pearl Theory, crystal gems save the pearls, set immediately after leaving the human zoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2019-03-03 00:44:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13329909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexiHollis/pseuds/AlexiHollis
Summary: After being rescued from the Diamonds, Yellow Pearl comes to grips with the choices Pearl made back during the war.





	Pearl's Choice

Yellow couldn’t remember the last time she’d retreated into the safety of her gem. That’s a lie: she knew it was at least five thousand years ago, given the fact the first gem she saw was White so it was obviously before she abandoned them (Blue hated it when she said it like that, but it’s what happened; she abandoned them for that stupid, good-for-nothing, bleeding-heart Quartz who got her entire cut of gem bubbled for who knows how long until Blue Diamond decided to shatter them). She couldn’t remember why she’d done so, though. She preferred to not think about White at all, it hurt too much.

Even now, however, on all fours panting from the unfamiliar, terrifying feeling of regeneration, Yellow couldn’t remember what got her in this situation. A claimed pearl, such as herself, needn’t bother with choosing what they looked like, their owner’s specific likes practically programmed into them, so she couldn’t have been out for long: she hadn’t even considered changing anything. Unlike White. White used to always get in trouble for changing her appearance just slightly after a regeneration, causing her Diamond to…force her to redo it. Yellow speculated the only reason White Diamond hadn’t shattered White was because she found some sort of pleasure in such a weak being’s defiance.

Shaking her head to clear it, she noticed that she crouched on the smooth metal floors of a ship, not the polished floors of the Human Zoo. Strange. Yellow Diamond didn’t enjoy flying and demanded Yellow entertain her throughout the trip; so much so, Yellow doubted she’d begin the flight back to Homeworld while Yellow was still incapacitated.

“Hi!” A voice exclaimed cheerfully. It sounded strange, different than the voice of any gem she’d met and full of the excitement of a newly emerged gem. What would such a gem be doing on Yellow Diamond’s ship? Raising her head, Yellow found the source of the voice in a small, chubby _human._ “I’m Steve-”

“Get away from me!” Yellow shrieked, flipping onto her back, attempting to scramble away. She hit a wall quickly, however. There was no way Yellow Diamond approved of this and she didn’t feel like facing her wrath.

“No, no! It’s OK, you’re safe now!” The human tried to assure her. He tried approaching Yellow, but her attempts to climb into the wall at this stopped him. “I’m Steven.”

Yellow blinked at him, confused and irritated. “Where am I?”

Bits and pieces started to slowly filter back, being caught accidentally by Holly Blue Agate’s whip when she went with Blue to investigate the commotion in the Ship center, Blue screaming in protest. “Blue! Where’s Blue?” She demanded of…Steven.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know who Blue is,” He looked genuinely sorry.

“Blue! She’s…” Yellow bit back her pride. “She’s a pearl.”

“Oh!” Steven’s eyes lit up. “I have her right here.” He lifted his hand to show off a perfect pearl. He held it carefully, almost caressing it. “We weren’t sure how long you two would take to regenerate.”

Yellow felt tears in her eyes at seeing Blue, hiding in her gem, probably terrified of being shattered by her Diamond who had a strict no-regeneration rule, even if she desperately needed it.

“Give her to me!” Yellow exclaimed standing and snatching Blue from the human, holding her dearly to her chest. “You’ll hurt her!”

“I promise you, no one is going to hurt anyone,” Yellow looked up to see a moderately sized fusion standing behind Steven, a hand on his shoulder. “But I know you must be very confused.”

“Oh, my stars,” Yellow murmured under her breath, eyeing the fusion who looked like she could shatter Yellow and Blue in two seconds flat.

“I think there is someone who wants to talk to you, first,” The fusion said, turning to look at a pearl hunched over by the controls, talking to the tiniest amethyst Yellow had ever seen.

When the pearl realized the attention was on her, she straightened up, blushing teal, “Um…yes, I-”

Yellow felt hollow inside and the tears returned at full force, “White?”

White swallowed thickly, looking simultaneously guilty and relieved, “Well, I go by Pearl now, but…yes.”

“But-but you’re supposed to be dead!” Yellow exclaimed. “The report-You’re all supposed to be-” Yellow struggled for words, clutching Blue tighter to her chest.

“Dead?” The tiny amethyst supplied, lounging by the control center and picking at her teeth.

Yellow didn’t even attempt to mask her disgust, “Yes. Dead.”

“Long story short, Rose’s shield saved Garnet and me,” Whi-Pearl explained.

“You let us believe you were dead,” Yellow’s voice dropped to an angry whisper.

Five thousand years of grieving, wishing, regretting. Five thousand years taunting herself with the fact that the last thing she said to a gem she loved was that she hoped she was shattered. Five thousand years of the other gem she loved scarcely ever talking because Pearl always said one of her favorite things about Blue was her voice.

“There was nothing I could do, Yellow,” Pearl said. “The galaxy warps were destroyed, we had no ships, communications were down, not to mention you were still loyal to your diamond.”

Yellow scoffed, muttering under breath as she examined Blue’s gem once again, “Never stopped you before.”

Never stopped _Pearl_ from seeing _her_ , from seeing _Rose Quartz._

“Yellow, I’m sorry.” The worst part was that Pearl actually did look sorry. When Yellow didn’t say anything, Pearl sighed, “We can talk about this once we get to Earth.”

“Get to-Earth?!” Yellow exclaimed. “What do you mean ‘get to earth’?!”

“Where did you think we were headed?” The fusion asked, her voice toneless and smooth.

“I-I don’t know,” Yellow deflated. She wished Blue was here, she’d know what to do. Yellow was useless in these situations; stars, she was just useless in general if she were being honest.

“It’s going to be okay,” Pearl promised, attempting to smile reassuringly.

Yellow sincerely doubted that. She spent the rest of the trip huddled in a corner, protecting Blue’s gem and ignoring the desperate glances Pearl kept sending her way. From what she understood, the gems in the ship represented the last of the Crystal Gems sans the human. Steven carried a rose quartz gem on his stomach, like Rose Quartz did yet she was nowhere to be seen. Given what Yellow knew about Rose, she doubted the former General would give her own life for a pearl and a perma-fusion. Then again, Yellow doubted her opinion of Rose was unbiased. At all.

They landed on a beach, a place Yellow only remembered the name of because the beach was where Yellow Diamond shattered Pink upon discovering Pink Diamond’s fragments. The oldest living Pearl, the only Pearl Yellow ever knew to say her gem type with pride, was shattered on a planet soon forgotten. All Yellow could hope for was that her shards were not used in the creation of the cluster, but Yellow Diamond kept only the scantest records of even the gem types used.

This beach, however, wasn’t vacant at all. In the distance, Yellow could see other humans and, right in front of them, a strange dwelling reminiscent of the ones the humans used during the war. Just barely reminiscent though.

“Welcome to Earth!” Steven cheered.

Yellow eyed him, “I’ve been here before.”

His eyes widened, “You have?!”

Yellow looked over at Pearl, then back to the small human, “Yes. Many times. I see Pearl hasn’t mentioned me.”

“Should she?” The Amethyst asked before Pearl could interrupt.

Pearl’s mouth opened and closed as she searched for words.

“No, of course not,” Yellow muttered, annoyed at the uncomfortable hot feeling burning through her chest.

“Yellow,” Pearl began, but stopped when the mentioned pearl looked at her.

Yellow waited a second, then sighed and shook her head when Pearl didn’t say another thing, looking down at the perfect gem in her hands. She ran a careful finger along the edges she knew well. “That’s what I thought.”

Steven brought her into what he called his “house” also known as a “home”. Yellow recognized it as a temple, but remembered that humans often had strange names for even stranger things.

“You can sit there,” he pointed at what he called a couch in what he said was a living room. Yellow refrained from saying that any room was a living room, if one was living in it. “I’ll go get the Poof Pillow.”

“The what?” Yellow asked as she sat down, cradling Blue’s gem still, but Steven already ran up the stairs, searching for…whatever it was he mentioned.

“It will take him a while to find it,” the fusion said as she sat down next to Yellow.

“How do you-?”

“Sapphire,” the fusion showed Yellow her right hand which held the gem of a Sapphire.

“I didn’t realize a multi-gem fusion would retain her component’s abilities,” Yellow said, because there wasn’t really much else to say and it wasn’t a lie, she didn’t realize that, but she had never really thought about fusion either.

“Enough chit-chat!” Amethyst pounced onto the couch, laying herself across Garnet’s lap and startling Yellow slightly, causing her to clutch Blue’s gem tighter. “How do you know Pearl? Do you have any funny stories about her? Has she always been so uptight?”

“Excuse me!” Pearl squawked from where she stood in the kitchen, anxiously washing dishes and blatantly ignoring Yellow’s presence.

Uptight?

“Uptight as in…?” Yellow asked.

“Y’know, always following rules and all that boring stuff.”

“Hah! _Following_ rules?” Yellow asked. “Since when?!”

Amethyst’s eyes grew massive as a wide grin appeared. Pearl, on the other hand…

“I think that it’s time Yellow and I talked!” Pearl said loudly, walking over and grabbing Yellow’s hand. As if she could still do that. Yellow glared slightly at Pearl who was, still not even looking at her, focused on Amethyst. She snatched her hand away from Pearl.

“We talked about this,” Yellow muttered at Pearl’s hurt look.

Understanding and shock dawned on Pearl’s face.

_“Don’t touch me.”_

_“Yellow-”_

_“If you can leave right now, when Blue is in her hole crying because of her Diamond’s new ridiculous rules, if you can stomach leaving her, then I don’t know you anymore.”_

_“Of course you know me! I want to be there, but I can’t miss training sessions. Rose isn’t stationed here regularly-”_

_“Rose, Rose, Rose! It’s always about Rose, isn’t it?!”_

_“Now you’re being ridiculous. Listen-”_

_“Don’t touch me! And if you leave right now, don’t you dare touch me ever again.”_

She left. That time, she did come back, but Yellow always kept a Blue’s distance away from Pearl after that.

“Yellow, we need to talk.” Pearl insisted.

Before Yellow could snarkily reply, Steven came running down the stairs. “I found it! I found it!”

Rushing to stand in front of Yellow, bouncing on the balls of his feet, he handed her a pillow. A nice, red pillow that was soft to the touch. The kind of soft Yellow only felt when bringing Yellow Diamond one of her belongings.

“It’s a Poof Pillow!” Steven explained. “Whenever one of the Gems gets poofed, I put their gem here. I don’t know if you guys can really feel anything when you’re in there, but I like having a nice soft place anyway.”

“Thank you, Steven,” Yellow said, carefully placing Blue’s gem on the pillow.

He was right, a gem couldn’t feel much inside their gem, but they could feel the difference between the hard floor and a soft pillow. Maybe it would be soft enough that Blue would realize it was safe to emerge.

“Yellow?” Pearl looked at her, expectantly yet anxious. Anxious. The Pearl Yellow knew didn’t know the meaning of such a word.

Five thousand years. Five thousand years of being a free gem, being able to live without fear of being shattered on a whim or obeying ridiculous demands, being able to do what she wanted whenever she wanted, and she developed an emotion typically gained by Pearls when they first emerge. On the other hand, that was a very her thing to do.

“Fine,” Yellow said, placing Blue carefully on the pillow and handing it to the fusion. She seemed the least likely to harm her. “You want to talk so badly? We’ll talk! But I highly doubt you want to have this conversation in front of…them.”

“Ah, Pearl’s got nothing to hide, right, Pearl?” Steven said, sidling up to Pearl, who looked much less confident. “Anything you guys need to talk about, you can talk about here.”

“Actually,” Pearl eyed Steven cautiously. Her eyes then flitted to just above the door, Yellow’s followed. She nearly growled at the large painting of a Rose Quartz. No, this Rose Quartz had a naval gem, it was the Rose Quartz. She hated that Rose Quartz. “It might be best if we take this outside. Alone.”

The Amethyst sat up attentively, “Woah.”

Steven looked shocked, “Pearl?”

“Steven, I’m sorry, but I really need to have this conversation alone.” Pearl gestured for Yellow to stand up. “Garnet, please make sure these two don’t follow us.”

“Not a problem,” the fusion responded to the ire of the others.

“Oh, c’mon, Garnet! Pearl’s finally doing something interesting!”

“I thought you guys were done keeping secrets from me!”

“You might want to go now,” the fusion hinted.

Yellow stood and followed Pearl out the door, down the stairs and back onto the beach. From there, Pearl lead her farther away around a cliff face and into a smaller cove. When Pearl stopped, Yellow immediately sat down; she had to admit, being able to choose when she sat or stood felt amazing. Over the water, Yellow watched as the sun began to set, casting the sky shades she didn’t know belonged to a sky. She didn’t look at Pearl, who sat awkwardly next to her.

“…pretty, isn’t it?” Pearl asked after a while of staring.

Yellow nodded. “That isn’t what you want to talk about.”

“No, you’re right. You’re always right,” Pearl chuckled, but it wasn’t a happy laugh, it was the laugh of someone who had lost something. “I just…I don’t know what to say. I didn’t think I’d ever see you again. Either of you.”

“You haven’t seen Blue, yet,” Yellow corrected.

“Why is she taking so long to regenerate?” Pearl asked. “She never did before.”

Oh, right. Pearl didn’t know. She left that day. She chose Rose, again, over learning exactly what rules Blue Diamond created as a way of helping Blue follow them. She hadn’t agonized for hours over every little detail, making sure that the day shards and dust replaced a beautiful blue gem stayed as far away in the distant future as possible. She left.

“Blue Diamond told her to never regenerate. Even if she really needed it.” Yellow said. “She probably thinks she’s gonna be shattered the second she does. Blue Diamond is wicked like that.”

“Oh.” Yellow could see the words fly away from Pearl.

“Yeah.”

“I wanted to go back for you,” Pearl finally said, turning to look at Yellow. Yellow continued to watch the setting sun. “Please, you have to believe me, I did. But I wasn’t sure where you were or how you were. I didn’t know how to get to you-”

“You think I care that much that you didn’t come back?!” Yellow finally yelled, pulling her knees up to her chest, clutching them tightly to her as she glared out at the ocean.

“I mean, that’s one of the first things-”

“I care a little bit,” Yellow said. “A little bit, but that I understand. How could you have possibly reached us? And as a fugitive? We belong…belonged to Diamonds, Pearl, it would’ve been impossible. That’s not the point.”

“Then what is?” Pearl asked, throwing her hands in the air with restless energy, standing up and beginning to pace the length of the small cove. Restless energy looked elegant on her somehow. White Diamond did always go on and on about how she had the perfect Pearl. Yellow averted her eyes when Pearl turned back around to her in her pacing, the time for those thoughts long past. “Why are you so angry at me?!”

“You really can’t figure it out?” Yellow finally looked up at Pearl, causing her to stand still. A beat of silence. She stood up, feeling the anger in the tips of her fingers and toes. “Pearl, you left! On your own accord, you left Blue and me. How many times did we have the same argument! You kept leaving us and, then, you decided to run off and join a rebellion-”

“I left for you!” Pearl protested. “I fought for you, for a place that we could all just be!”

“And I told you it wouldn’t work out the way you thought!” Yellow screamed. “I told you that Rose Quartz was being delusional! How many Crystal Gems are left now from the war? You and the fusion? Certainly not the Amethyst and I know a humans life span. Are those the only ones that survived because of Rose’s shield? And where even is Rose now? Did you know you got Pink shattered? Did you?! I had to watch!”

“I had to try!” Pearl’s volume finally matched Yellow. Tears welled in her eyes. “I felt so useless, sitting there as things got worse day by day, knowing that the fate of the two gems I loved was in the hands of selfish, fickle creatures who thought them nothing more than pretty trinkets! I couldn’t stand the thought that one day you or Blue would be taken from me, because of some stupid rule or because they got bored. Rose offered me a way out, a way to save you. I always planned to come back and take you from them, to bring you here and let you be free. I thought we would win and when it was all over, Rose said we did win, because Earth was free, but it never felt like a win to me. It didn’t even feel like the draw it honestly was, if felt like a loss, because I never got what I fought for. I’m sorry it ended like that and I’m sorry I’m five thousand years late, but I can’t say I’m sorry I left, because it let this happen. I know you’re angry at me, but the fact that you’re standing here as a free gem at all makes me happy enough that maybe I could take you hating me forever.” Pearl took a shaky breath. “I would like it if you didn’t, though.”

Yellow stared at Pearl for a second. She wasn’t supposed to make sense. She wasn’t supposed to have an actually damn good reason for leaving. Yellow was supposed to feel justified in the anger she’d harbored all these years, but she actually felt tired. Anger was heavy, but it warded off the grief that would’ve taken its place in Pearl’s absence. Pearl was here now, though.

“Yellow?” Pearl asked hesitantly. “I-”

Yellow threw herself at Pearl, wrapping her arms around her neck and clinging to her. Pearl’s arms fluttered about her torso nervously before wrapping around her snugly like they used to. Burying her face in Pearl’s shoulders, Yellow cried and cried about everything and nothing until she couldn’t feel anymore. Stars began peeking out in the nearly black sky and Pearl still held her tightly.

“I missed you so much,” Pearl admitted, lightly kissing the side of Yellow’s head.

“…I missed you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this! PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT THEY ARE WHAT KEEP ME MOTIVATED TO WRITE


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